All things mental

I’ve recently had my mental health diagnosis changed from ‘depression’ to ‘bipolar 2’. I still haven’t decided exactly how I feel about that but there it is. I’m now a little crazier than I was before.

Bipolar 2 is a less extreme version of bipolar disorder. I found a good definition from the Mayo Clinic website:

Bipolar disorder β€” sometimes called manic-depressive disorder β€” causes mood swings that range from of the lows of depression to the highs of mania. When you become depressed, you may feel sad or hopeless and lose interest or pleasure in most activities. When your mood shifts in the other direction, you may feel euphoric and full of energy. Mood shifts may only occur only a few times a year, or as often as several times a day. In some cases, bipolar disorder causes symptoms of depression and mania at the same time.

Bipolar II disorder. Bipolar II is less severe than bipolar I. You may have an elevated mood, irritability and some changes in your functioning, but generally you can carry on with your normal daily routine. Instead of full-blown mania, you have hypomania β€” a less severe form of mania. In bipolar II, periods of depression typically last longer than periods of hypomania.

So, that’s ‘now’ me. It’s actually been me for quite a while, I just didn’t realize it before. Now I do and can move forward, I hope.

Mental illness isΒ  very much like getting any diagnosis… it’s scary, it’s unnerving, you go through denial or anger at it… but that doesn’t change the diagnosis. This one is hard for me because it’s ‘that one’, that’s the one person that someone knows that snapped and did something stupid or dangerous and suddenly have everyone mad at/afraid of them. I don’t want to be that person, I don’t want that disease! But I also didn’t want my allergies and definitely don’t want the asthma… just things I have to deal with. Just need to add this one to the pile of ‘who I am’.

I wouldn’t be ashamed if I had diabetes… or was short…. or had irritable bowel syndrome… Why should I be ashamed of this? Why is this disease one that people still step back and start talking very gently to you when they find out… or ask ‘What are you sad about?’ or ‘There’s nothing wrong with doing things out of the ordinary, that’s normal’. There’s no education to regular people about what’s really going on, how to really handle and talk to someone that suffers from this disease. It’s all news reports about how this person had mental illness and killed his family or robbed someone at knife point, or just snapped and drove through a crowd. They don’t put the person that drove to work, did their job, had lunch and drove home without anything going on. That’s boring, that doesn’t make people watch. But it would help those of us with some form of mental illness get through a day without getting a sideways look from someone that knows we have it. It would show that the extremes are not the normal way we react, the way we handle ourselves day to day.

My meds have been changed and that’s taking a little time to adjust to. Been over a week now and I’m better this week than I was last so that’s a step in the right direction at least. Just hoping they work, the ‘med-dance’ is not my idea of fun., but it has to be done. My dancing shoes are just old and don’t protect me so much anymore.

 

The great outdoors

Once again, despite not doing anything outside but looking at my flowers and getting in and out of the car, I have poison ivy. This, I think, is one of those “joys” of dogs in a fenced in backyard that no one told me about when it comes to home ownership. I just wanted a house with a yard so I didn’t have to walk the dog anymore, so I could paint my walls something other than white or beige, and so I could have some flowers in the ground that didn’t entirely depend on me for their water and sun (something I’m not good at).

Mind you, I have all that… I just also have poison ivy. It’s in our backyard in amongst the bushes that have appeared and grown out of control from us just making sure the lawn was mowed and not worried about the bushes. I’m badly allergic to the stuff, so pulling it out myself will be disastrous (as I’ve shown by pulling it out a few weeks ago when Jon wanted to do some bush pruning in the backyard). Jon may or may not be allergic. He’s never had allergies before, but they’ve started to pop up on him and he’s not adjusting to it well at all. He got involved with the pulling a little this last time and didn’t get it but that doesn’t always mean he’s not allergic, just lucky.

This time, however, is from our dogs I think. Yes, they have all that wonderful hair that catches it as they brush against it and bring it in just for me. “Here Mommy, we know you don’t go outside much so here’s some we brought in for you.” *sigh*

So, here I sit with poison ivy between my ring finger and pinky finger on my right hand, and the pinky is swollen on top of it all. Numerous poison ivy blisters on the top and side of my pinky, the side of my ring finger, and the skin connecting the two as well as a little down from there. It’s startling how quickly it just all appeared, too. Started with a little spot on top of my finger and then within a day it was all over.

There had better be a real good reason for that stuff because it’s a good candidate for mass extinction in my book!

The sanctity of marriage

“I’m so completely over this whole “marriage” vs. “civil union” thing. So, I’m no longer “married”. I’m in a “civil union” with my husband. “Civil” is a lot better than what a lot of marriages are like anyway.”

That was the status that got me on this. And I know there are people that are going to argue with me no matter what I say here, but I’m gonna say it anyway because I’ll be damned if I’m gonna just sit back and ignore this anymore.

What the hell, people? Really? We’re being ridiculous over this? And I mean BOTH sides of this issue. So, ‘civil union’ is what the straight people are saying the gay people should be happy with, and the gay people are saying that they want to be married. Now, let’s look at this:

“Marriage” is, traditionally, a religious thing. It is. Cope with that. I’m not saying that’s right or that’s the way it should still be, but it IS what it is. “Holy matrimony” is religious stuff. Religious people, by and large, seem to believe that “marriage” is between a man and a woman (unless your church is the Mormon church and then it can be between one man and however many women want to put up with your shit, but that’s not legal either… and that’s a completely different argument that I don’t care about).

“Civil union” is, as far as I can gather, what ‘they’ have tried to give gays (and mind you, I’m using the term ‘gays’ because typing lgbt (lesbian gay bisexual transgender) is not gonna come out of my hands and y’all will just have to cope. Take it up with Sherri if you don’t like it) so they can have a union while still keeping the religious folks happy by not giving them marriage. I’ve been told that the two are very similar but that civil unions aren’t recognized in every state (maybe only in the state it was performed).

So, are we clear? Good. I’m sure I’ll have a lot of corrections lining up in the comments by morning, and go ahead. I’ll take actual corrections, I want to base my opinion on some facts. πŸ™‚

So….. first, why aren’t civil unions recognized in all states? Why isn’t it crossing state lines? My opinion here is because there have been some pushes for ‘gay marriage’ in states which gets put on a ballot and then gets defeated because everyone and their cat takes out ads on TV to lie about what it is (BOTH sides). They get defeated and nothing ever gets done about civil unions. Why? Because they’ll fail too, right? Well…. who knows.

Second… All y’all straight people DO realize that your happy little marriage certificate doesn’t give you anything that a lawyer can’t, don’t ya? ANYONE can go do a lawyer, draw up some papers, and give someone the same rights as a marriage certificate does (and it would likely stand up in court better). In fact…. y’all gay people know that too, don’t ya? It’d likely cost a little more, but you CAN have the same rights… and then you can have a party with your friends and family that like you and would love to share your joy, and then you can tell people all you want that you’re legally bound to each other. πŸ™‚ No, of course that’s not the ‘fix’ to it all, but aren’t there more important things to be worrying about? I mean, honestly…. Kids are being abused, they’re starving, they’re getting gyped in schools because we’re making cuts to education instead of to benefits for people that find it easier than working (and, again, I mean exactly what I said. People that are trying, people that can’t work are not who I’m talking about here, I’m talking about lazy Joe Schmo who is able bodied but finds it isn’t necessary to actually do anything)… People are out of work that are trying really hard to find work but there isn’t any… Old folks can’t afford medication, are home bound without a way to get to the store, are lonely and alone, are sitting in nursing/retirement homes feeling unloved… soldiers are dying everywhere, and they’re not even CLOSE to getting paid what they should be for what they do…

But no, we’re more worried about this. We’re more worried that “God”, who MADE THESE PEOPLE, might get mad if you agree they should have some rights. We’re more worried about whether you can actually ‘legally’ use the term ‘married’ instead of just saying it for your civil union because everyone that likes you will know what you mean, and everyone that doesn’t like you can kiss your ass anyway. We’re holding on to a 7 little letters (6 different letters), and making a huge deal out of something that’s, honestly, a whole waste of time.

Why? Because a bunch of people get married every time they make it legal somewhere… are those people actually wanting to get married or are they doing it because now they can? There have already been a few divorces from the first ‘wave’ (and probably lots we won’t ever hear about), and there will be more. It’s a little piece of paper and a bunch of legal statutes that may or may not actually stand up in court, depending on the situation. You’d be better off with a lawyer (I can’t believe I’m saying that).

“Marriage” should be harder to get… ya wanna talk about how expensive it is… Guess what? It’s not. The party is expensive (well, for some people it is). The actual marriage part is only about $30 I think (it’s been a while). The divorce, on the other hand… it costs hundreds, and sometimes thousands of dollars.

Ya know, a very wise man once said to me “Kiddo, divorce should be cheap and marriage should be expensive. People would think a lot more about doing it before jumping into it.” And he was right, very, very right. We’re happy to spend lot of money on this party that goes with it, but that’s not really it… that’s all party. You can have a party anytime. You can have a party every 5 years or 10 years if you want. It doesn’t make you any more married.

Think, people. Why is thinking so hard nowadays?

Joining the blogging masses

Yes, here we go. I’ve decided to add my drivel to all the others out there. I’ve found many times recently that “I’d like to write that out and subject other people to it” feeling is happening… and what better way!

You can expect my posts to be anything from political, social, animal, artist, wife, woman, nerd or many other perspective. Be forward, this is called the ‘Kat Box’ for a very good reason. I expect it to be mostly full of shit and scattered aaaaaall over the place.

So, keep your shoes on,Β  and for gods’ sakes, wipe your feet before you get out of the box. You don’t wanna be tracking it all over the internet!