I haven’t really talked much about my Mom, but I just need to get this out. This year will be my 3rd Christmas without my Mom. Three Christmases ago we at least exchanged gifts, but hadn’t verbally talked from before Bon died (in September, so I believe it was early September that was the last time we talked). The following year I was diagnosed with MS and I won’t bother to repeat what she told me when I emailed her about it, but suffice it to say I haven’t heard from her at all asking how things were/are going (although we did get a “Hope all is well with you” in the Christmas card last year).
Three years without talking to my Mom at all. Two years with our only contact being a very generic Christmas card last year. Don’t know what I’ll get this year, if I’ll even get anything.
Hurting a lot this year for some reason. Mourning the loss of someone that is still alive is very, very hard.
On top of that, I tested positive for the JC Virus, which could affect my treatment for the MS. This Friday will be another test and then in January I have an appointment with the doctor to discuss what our next step will be. For a little information, JC Virus is very common, but “Polyomavirus JC (often called JC virus) is carried by a majority of people and is harmless except among those with lowered immune defenses.” As I’m on an immunosuppressant medication (Tysabri), this is a concern as what can happen is PML or Progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy, and that’s not a pretty thing. More information for folks that are interested in the first and second links below.
Recently, I also entered a drawing in a “Rare Artist Contest” which is for folks somehow affected by a rare disease (MS is a rare disease). I entered just before the deadline, and thus likely won’t win the “popular vote” (it’s rather high for the first place art piece, and I would need everyone on my Facebook to vote, and have them all share it and have everyone on their Facebooks vote, and I know that’s a long shot). But I have put up a link for people to vote and share the link with the hopes that I’m at least in the running. I’m hoping that over the next few days (a person can only vote once every 10 days) the number that I have will go up.
But while winning would be cool, it’s not my only intent on doing the drawing and entering the contest. This is a very serious disease, as are other rare diseases. Having this new “JC Virus” hiccup has really thrown me for a loop. PML can be a really devastating thing to deal with, and I’ve known it’s a concern since I started my first treatment. Now that the JC Virus is a factor, it’s unnerving.
Because of all of this, I ask y’all for two things. The first is to vote for my piece if you haven’t already. The second is to take care of yourself. When you forgo treatment for a mental illness because you “don’t need it”, remember this: It’s not just for you. Your illness is affecting your friends and family, and it hurts them when you ignore that… and subsequently them. It isn’t just about you. If you want to have a relationship with those you care about and who care about you, get on treatment. Get help. Stay on your medication. Don’t think that you’re all better. You might be better, but it’s the treatment that is MAKING you better.
There’s so very much to lose when you don’t.
That is all.